As most pet owners will tell you: These cats ain't loyal.
If you have a free-range feline, chances are you've become suspicious of your jerk cat's outdoor past times and with good reason. Cats love having secret lives.
Especially Simba. Or should we call him Crazy Horse? Yep, this jerk cat's disloyal diablerie has been exposed for what it was -- a selfish desire for two mums.
SEE ALSO:Val Kilmer can't stop tweeting about Cate Blanchett and it's unsettlingAs Simba's owner Shirley Bishop of Inglewood in New Zealand told Stuff, the two-year-old cat disappears for a few days on the regular. Because she respects his privacy, it's chill.
But when Simba returned after a week-long sabbatical with stitches in his neck and a shaved shoulder, Bishop started to realize the extent of her cat's second life.
"I went down the vet to see if they could shed any light on it," she said. "But because of the Privacy Act, they weren't allowed to tell me who took him, all they could tell me was the name of the street." So after a serious Facebook campaign (and presumably some soul searching) Bishop tracked down Simba's other mum.
As mum #2, Mychaela Groombridge, told the news outlet, her cat started hanging around nine months ago, meowing and being cute (typical). "He would just race around the house, like just take off," she said."That's how we come up with the name Crazy Horse because he'd just race around the house like a lunatic.
He was really smoochy and crying, like talking to you," she added. "And, he just made himself at home. Just jumped up on the couch, curled up and pretty much moved in."
It was only after Groombridge took Crazy Horse to the vet for stitches after a dog bite that his house of lies came crashing down.
Groombridge noticed the social media campaign Bishop had set up.The pair realised they owned the same cat, and not only that -- they also used to work together.
"Shirley used to work upstairs in the office," Groombridge said. "She phoned me ... and I told her what happened, where he'd been and he was at our house."
But the two women are legends and a shared custody agreement has been formed. Simba/Crazy Horse will keep his two names and two mums. "I've given them a book with his weight, his date of birth and what vaccinations he's had," Bishop said.
"Just to know he's safe and he's loved. Then we'll share him. That's fine," she added.
How sweet! Too bad their emotional labour is wasted on such a jerk cat. Aren't they all, though.