Welcome to Chris-mas, Mashable's favorite holiday we made up and celebrate religiously each year. Chris-mas lines up perfectly with the existing concept of "Christmas in July" and falls squarely between the birthdays of Chrises Hemsworth, Pratt, Evans, and Pine.
We've opted for a simpler Chris-mas this year (you can still follow our more robust traditions), but since the end of Marvel Phase 3 frees up some of these guys' schedules, we thought we'd pitch some unsolicited movie ideas for Hollywood's great Chrises.
Hollywood, let us know if you want some spec scripts.
In a Variety piece from spring, Evans admitted that he and Hemsworth have so much fun together that they had to be separated for goofing off during Avengerspress tours. “I would love to do one of those ’80s buddy comedies, where we could shed the characters we are known for,” he said.
Thus we submit our dream buddy cop duo, in which each Chris is his precinct's respective Andy Dwyer (ironically Chris Pratt plays the exemplary cop that everyone admires and envies). They get paired up so the others can be rid of them, and in the process uncover a series of sinister, connected crimes that connect all the way back to the police commissioner. Mashable illustrator Vicky Leta suggests calling this movie Butt Patrol("Crime's about to have some ass handed to them").
Three of the four main Chrises headlined Marvel properties, while Chris Pine made a name for himself in the Star Trekreboot and Wonder Woman. It seems a waste to not push the boundaries of Hollywood's superhero-Chris synergy a little further. Cast them all as voice actors in an X-Men iteration! Sneak them into Marvel's Runaways(evil dads!), The Umbrella Academy, or any of The CW's DC shows. Or consider our personal favorite: Wonder Womansequel cameos for the three MCU actors.
Chris Hemsworth plays an inspirational youth sports coach with a tough exterior and soft heart, not unlike a young Eric Taylor from Friday Night Lights. Jesse Plemons plays a rival school's evil coach who is eventually imprisoned on murder charges from his high school days.
Four handsome criminals (all named Mike, in this case) make it their mission to rob the house of a wealthy family in the suburbs. Each Chris-Mike has his specialty; the brains, the brawn, the beauty, the buffoon, yet nothing can prepare them to defend themselves against the one child left at home (played by a CGI Billy Elliot-era Tom Holland).
Read enough interviews with Chris Evans (and we have) and you'll realize that the man is practically begging to be cast in a musical (he also said so explicitly).
He hasn't had time to flex those muscles what with steady work since the late-'90s and being Captain America, but he did find the time to hit Broadway with Lobby Heroin 2018, and now needs a new love to fill the Marvel-shaped hole in his heart. Put him in a stage production, a movie musical, even a musical episode of a TV show! Put him in Mashable Senior Entertainment Reporter Alexis Nedd's choice: Put him in Movin' Out, a jukebox musical featuring the smooth stylings of Billy Joel.
Chris-mas may be a made-up holiday celebrated by Mashable writers, but we're ready to take this thing mainstream. We're thinking a Chris-themed Love, Actually, which is a great chance to feature Chrises beyond the Core Four; we're talkin' Rock, Lowell, Messina, Colfer!
Their love stories and holiday shenanigans overlap and remind us to tell the truth or something. Directed by Christopher Nolan with screenplay by Chris Kelly (music by Chris Martin).
Credit: mashable / bob al-greeneImage credit: Mashable composite; Getty Images / Steve Granitz / NBC / Gilbert Carrasquillo / Jeff Spicer / Don Arnold / Dominique Charriau / Greg Doherty / Jim Spellman / Michael Tran/FilmMagic
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