The Young Pope, the already-weird-sounding television show that turned out to be a tad more bizarre than initial speculation, finally premiered on HBO on Sunday.
Jude Law, partially just by nature of being Jude Law, comes off like a dude in a romantic comedy trying to convince a girl that he's bad news. And that's sort of what an American orphan named Lenny, who goes on to become Pius XIII at an age that is certainly not old by pope standards, is doing to the Catholic church and even God himself.
Pope Pius XIII, simply, is not here to make friends. Here are his sassiest moments from the series premiere.
SEE ALSO:We made the Young Pope an online dating profile just in caseAfter a series of bizarre dreams, the pope finds a variety of pastries, eggs, fruit and whatever else a new pope of any age might need to jump start his papacy waiting for him. Except, of course, Cherry Coke Zero. He rejects everything.
Via Giphy"Ooh, let's not utter heresies, Domen," Lenny fires back when presented with the option of a regular Diet Coke. "It's death to settle for things in life." Dude, chill.
Look, Sister Bice might have been good enough to cook for the three previous popes, but those were old popes. And as the saying goes, out with the old, in with the young.
"Friendly relationships are dangerous. They lend themselves to ambiguities, misunderstandings and they always end badly." Way harsh, pope!
The pope rolls through his first confession as the Holy Father to brag that actually, he's perfect and doesn't need to atone for anything. Sure, dude, whatever. We're all sinners — that's just Catholicism 101. You're special, but you're not thatspecial.
Sister Mary, played by Diane Keaton, recalls a description of Rome as, "a suburb of Vatican City.
"Well, that's not exactly true," laughs Lenny, "but it will be."
When asked if he fell asleep, YP replies, "No, Your Eminence. I'm praying. For you."
John Paul II decided that you can't smoke in the Vatican, because that's the sort of rule popes are allowed to make — and break. And Pius XIII does what he wants.
Nice one, pope!