Sometimes when I’m thinking about video games with my Video Game Writer hat on, I forget that video games are here for fun. I get caught up in the themes, the plot consistency, the framerate and performance — all the things that are important, but aren’t the core of what makes games great.

I fully intended to write a solid, well-reasoned review of Devil May Cry 5. I really did. I had a doc open to take notes and that Writer Hat strapped onto my head and a lot of futzy little plans about how I was going to cover it...only to have those plans shattered by the balls out, coo coo bananas, metal-as-fuck, hack-and slash extravaganza that is this game.

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It’s just incredible.Devil May Cry 5doesn’t give a fuck about anything that isn’t looking dope as shit and rocking your entire face off. There’s a mean bird and a motorcycle that is actually swords and the option to surf through hell on a demon panther. There are amputations and impalements and elemental nunchucks and easily twice as many rocket launchers as one might originally anticipate.

When I finished playing the main campaign for the first time, all I wanted to do was crush up eight more games exactly like Devil May Cry 5and snort them off a gun. Fuck themes. Fuck framerate. I had fun. I felt like a rock star. I felt alive!

But right, I’m here to review a game. Please give me a moment to get down from the chandelier.

The boys are back in town

Credit: capcom

So Devil May Crygames have historically been associated with Dante, the devil-slaying main protagonist whose flappy red coat and signature wisecracks are synonymous with the franchise. Dante is of course present in DMC 5, but longtime fans of the series might be surprised to see that the real emotional center of this installment is not Dante, but Nero — the young, silver-haired demon killer whose connection to Dante is confirmed later in the game (no one will be surprised by this reveal and that is OK).

Nero is a fantastic character in his own right, and he shines in DMC 5on the virtue of his voice acting and chemistry with other characters. He’s a cocky, brash SOB with a missing arm and a taste for rampant demon murder, who spends a lot of the game trying to prove himself to Dante but instead comes into his legacy.

His arc in DMC 5sets him up to be the new #1 in the Devil May Cryseries, and after playing with him for over a third of the game I wouldn’t be mad if future installments were more Nero-centric. What can I say? He’s a nice kid.

Both Dante and Nero are playable characters in DMC 5at different points in the story, and some missions allow you to select which one to play as. But there is a third option — there’s always V.

V is a new addition to Devil May Cry, and he’s an interesting one. To say too much about his involvement in the story would be to spoil some of the game’s bloodier surprises, but he is an entirely different creature to Dante and Nero. He’s a weak, skinny scholar who can summon familiar demons to fight on his command, and he looks like a cross between Adam Driver and another, smaller Adam Driver. He’s kind of Nero’s friend? Maybe more like an ally. Keep an eye on him.

Fight me, cowards

Credit: capcom

Each of the three playable characters have a distinct combat style, and while some missions lock you in to play as one particular character, others allow you to choose which of the three you want to kick ass with.

Before I start, a note on combat toggles. There is an assisted mode that helps players rack up combos with fewer button inputs and a regular mode that takes controller input as is. I found assisted mode confusing, as it obfuscates the button-mapping in favor of auto-launching into what I felt were unearned combinations. Regular mode is more straightforward and my recommendation for playing, even for a first time player.

Nero’s combat style was my personal favorite, but it’s also the one the game started me out with. He wields a gun and a sword, but he also packs special abilities in the form of his Devil Breakers, swappable prosthetic arms that come with a little extra punch. Nero’s Devil Breakers come courtesy of Nico, his in-house (or technically in-van) mechanic and inventor buddy, whose curly hair and southern “charm” make for a delightful addition to the game’s roster of female characters.

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Nico makes all kinds of Breakers for Nero, including one that shocks enemies, another that stops time, one that is apparently for eating pasta, and many more. Each Breaker also comes with the ability to grapple — light enemies will be yanked towards Nero on the battlefield and heavier ones will pull Nero towards them. It’s a very yeehaw, lasso kind of deal. Experimenting with and unlocking different Devil Breakers is half the fun of playing Nero, and his combat is defined by them.

V has an entirely different style, which revolves around summoning demonic familiars in the shape of a griffon, panther, and big rock thing that do his fighting for him. For playing purposes, the griffon is a long-range attack (he is also very chatty), the panther is a melee attack, and the rocky boy is specially activated in those “just fuck me up” situations.

V is too weak to withstand much damage, but he does have the honor and requirement of dealing the killing blow on all of the demons his familiars attack. When an enemy goes white and sick-looking in battle, it’s up to V to charge in and smash his pointy cane into their heads to send them off to the big sleep.

Allow me to repeat that. The motorcycle. That is also. Swords. Don’t ask me to explain this. It’s a gift and I refuse to question it.

V’s combat was my second favorite in DMC 5, mostly because it was easier for me to rack up combos and earn Stylish ratings when the pets are taking care of business.

Finally, there’s Dante. He shows up later in the game with his trademark four types of combat — Swordmaster (close range), Gunslinger (long range), Trickster (evasion), and Royalguard (defense). Each style can be combined with one of the many, many weapons Dante wields in the game, ranging from enormous swords, those elemental nunchucks I mentioned, an Important Hat, just an absolute butt-ton of guns, and my personal favorite: the motorcycle that is also swords.

Allow me to repeat that. The motorcycle. That is also. Swords. Don’t ask me to explain this. It’s a gift and I refuse to question it. Just know that if there are armored enemies near you and you need to grind the metal from their body with the power of a raging engine, consider slamming a MOTORCYCLE THAT IS ALSO SWORDS directly into their faces.

Ahem. Excuse me.

Super Sexy Sonics

Credit: capcom

As is tradition inDevil May Cry, the character’s combat is rated on screen according to style, which in the context of the game means hitting bitchin’ combos and not getting hit back. The ratings go from D (Dismal) up to SSS (Smokin' Sexy Style) and each rating level gained earns not only bonus points at the end of each mission but also an enhancement in the combat soundtrack.

It was incredibly cool to feel the flow of a fight turning in my favor and watching my rating rise, only to be rewarded with extra-sick guitar riffs and soaring accompaniment. Of course, that means that when I got smacked down to earth by a well-placed hellbat blast my soundtrack got less awesome, but the dynamic music was incentive enough to pick up and keep trying. Gotta get that rhythm back. Gotta feel the beat.

See you in hell (like a lot)

Credit: capcom

If there is one gripe I have with Devil May Cry 5, it’s the repetitiveness of some of the missions. Since the action of the game is sectioned off into distinct missions, all of the gameplay is set up to get the character from Point A to Point B with little freedom for exploration.

There are some fun asides in the level design, mostly related to the acquisition of rare orbs, but the tenth time the game sent me to fight through a goopy, fleshy-looking sector of the underworld I was a little bored with the scenery.

The real world sections of the game are better, with some of the cooler levels taking place in a subway station, a hotel, and a blood fountain, but yeah...the underworld is super gross looking. And everything in it kind of looks like a weirdo’s approximation of a vagina. Seriously, look at those underworld conduit “doorways” and tell me with a straight face Freud wouldn’t have something to say about them.

It’s probably too much to expect that a fighting game would have an open world, but the restrictiveness of the levels is what kept me from marathoning Devil May Cry 5for as long as I wanted to. Since the bulk of the game is about finding sexy new ways to kill stuff regardless of environment, other people may not be as bothered with that, but I was.

Shiny and new

Credit: CAPCOM

There are other cool elements that Devil May Cry 5introduces to the series. Chief among these is the Void, a practice area accessible both in game and from the main screen that lets players practice specific combos to hone their murderin' skills before taking them out into the field.

There's also a new featuring system, which allows players to play as one character in a mission while another player connected by network plays as another in a different part of the map. For example, while playing as Nero I once looked over the side of a building to see a little V in the distance fighting off some demons.

That was actually another player going through one of V's missions that happened to take place a few blocks away from mine, and at the end of my mission I was able to rate little V's performance (I gave him a "Stylish" rating because I'm not a monster). Earning community-given Stylish points rewards players with gold orbs, the game's equivalent of a second life, which come in handy when facing some of Devil May Cry 5's bigger bosses.

Pull my Devil Trigger

Credit: Capcom

Look, it's not my business to tell anyone what to do with their money. I can only recommend, based on my own playing, what kind of gaming experiences are perhaps worth a discerning gamer's time.

I had a great time playing Devil May Cry 5and look forward to my just-started New Game +. There were so many moments where I laid back cackling on my couch, yelled at my TV, and whispered "holy shit" to absolutely no one while I played — it's really that exciting.

Fans of the series will recognize DMC 5as one of the best entires to date, but pretty much anyone can pick up this game, watch the plot recap in the menu, and strap in for a kickass time. Just remember: the motorcycle is two swords.

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