As a self-made millionaire, I am devastated every day when I see the foolish spending and saving habits of millennials. That's why when I saw fellow rich person Tim Gurner scold young people for buying avocado toast, I screamed "yes" so loud my butlers came into my morning den to check on me.。
After firing them for not knocking, I decided to write some advice of my own because millennials are so rampant and irresponsible with their income that buying avocado toast is really just the tip of the iceberg. 。
As a millionaire, I am begging millennials to stop doing the following things with their money.。
SEE ALSO:I'm a GOP lawmaker and I'm not worried about AHCA because a Zoltar machine already told me how I'd die。Millennials, please, stop going out to sea with hundreds of dollars folded up like paper airplanes and then throwing the folded up bills out into the waters. I would estimate that millennials throw upwards of $250,000 into the sea every year. I can't stress enough how this, along with purchasing avocado toast, will not help you afford your first home.。
Another alarming trend amongst millennials is testing out the effectiveness of their paper shredder by removing all the bills from their wallet and running them through the shredder. As a millionaire, I can assure you that this practice is counter-productive in your efforts to be able to afford a home. 。
3. Balling up hundred dollar bills, loading them into a Victorian-era cannon, and then shooting the cannon off tall castles into the plains below. 。
4. Taking out all of their money from the bank and stamping "VOID" on each bill. 。
5. Scattering 300 signed blank checks in Times Square during rush hour. 。
6. Converting all of your money into gold coins and then whacking them into the woods with a tennis racquet. 。
Saving money is already hard. Don't make it harder by converting all of your savings into the form of gold coins, going over to the edge of the woods, and then whacking each coin into the woods. There are better ways to spend your money, trust me. 。